A couple of days back I was doing the TGIF (Toes Go In First) with my velvet emerald Candela shoes I hastily purchased from a Saks sale a few months back, and apparently they were one size too small because I absent-mindedly read 38 as 39. I would hence conclude that those velvet emerald slip ons were somewhat a little too tight, albeit more uncomfortable, for my liking. But I still wore them out because they were, nonetheless, velvet.
But not fitting the shoes and getting a little (lol, jk. I mean a ton) bruise on my heels aren't the subject of this debate. What actually happened that couple of days back was a total disaster. And when I mention disaster, I meant a malevolent catastrophe.
So what exactly happened? To summarise, I got my velvet shoes coated in layers of vomit. I'll have to further garnish my summary: They weren't my barf. They were of a kid aged around five. So here's the catastrophic incident as continued from the aforementioned paragraph: I was jubilantly (albeit painfully) trotting down my velvet shoes when a middle aged woman - with the five year old kid - approached me for some tissue. I thought, 'I needed to obtain some good karma.' (those weren't exactly my thoughts, I wasn't even cogitating anything), so I dug into my Proenza Schouler purse for them. That was when I heard something quite erroneous; it sounded like something terrible was churning, in an enigmatic organ known as, I think, our stomach. When I wanted to back out, it was too late. Pasty gooey fluid mingled with chunky bits started flowing out from that boy's mouth, down to his greyish-green t-shirt (with somewhat accentuated the whole revolting barf trauma) and onto my - you guessed it right - emerald velvet shoes.
Turns out it was really the stomach that made vile sound.
I was dumbfounded, enraged , almost threw up because of the abhorrent stench that lingered in the air. The woman sincerely and remorsefully apologised, but it wasn't enough to satisfy my animosity because 1) it is VELVET and 2) it was on god-damn SALE!
Was it my attribution - to have every piece of my fashun item heading towards a disastrous denouement - or my retribution?
When the heat turns up and the shoes come down, I couldn't help but wonder: Shall I rid these enclosed ones for something a little more, exposed? I knew I had to get rid of my effluvious velvet (I can't emphasise on this enough) shoes and slip on something more comfortable and something less foul. And because it's still summer and I haven't gotten myself a pair of decent sandals, I drafted out a few ideas:
A) Bejewelled (or diamanté) camel slip on sandals by H&M
B) Alexander Wang red patent ones
C) These gorgeous Senso faux-fur lined ones, which I predict, might end up drenched in another person's puke
D) Tibi wedged flatworms with diamanté too
E) Purple nubuck Birkenstocks
F) Zara vintage-somewhat-woody red buckled sandals
I don't know, all these options are wonderful! Care to help me?
Images all from respective website of the brand, but collage done by me hehe