Billie Jean(s)






'Eww, no'

That was my authentic remark whenever I saw those sturdy cotton hung on the racks in stores six years ago. I used to hate denim jeans. Basically anything that has the word jean (think: jeans, jean jacket, jean overalls, jean that does not make any sense but basically jeans) in it, I would often shun away from it. Whenever someone tried to cultivate and compel me upon this topic, I would either repel or (imaginarily) regurgitate. And honestly, I didn't really know why.

'How is it possible that you don't wear jeans at all?'

My friends would often tease me for being irrational for not possessing a pair of proper jeans. But what's wrong with not owning a pair? Was it a crime that could result me behind bars (literally)? Was it a wardrobe hazard that I, inherently didn't think jeans were flattering? Was it because, it was similar to the white t-shirt, that not owning a pair of jeans means not having a wardrobe staple means I've destroyed my future in fashun? Clearly I was perplexed, and clueless.

I didn't own a white t-shirt back then either.

A year had passed, and one wintry day in Milan, I sojourned Zara (I was already obsessed with Zara five years back) for no apparent reason, as though I was on a regular appointment with that shop. I sourced through the racks in the woman's, then the man's, and eventually the kids department. I didn't have the financial capability at fifteen to afford any from the woman nor man's department, and my waistline was like 
-1021547744352 inches, the only choice I had to sought for was, from the kids selection.

I skimmed through that shelves and racks and almost the entire kids department. I couldn't locate a pair of shorts (who sells shorts during the winter season?) nor a chino trousers. I sighed. Then from the corner of my eye, I sighted this pair of indigo washed trousers piled amongst other similar fabric bottoms. I stepped closer to take a clearer view. It was a pair of jeans. I contemplated. Should I, or should I not? I knew I wasn't fascinated, but I didn't not like that jeans. I eventually bought it (I had nothing to buy, I necessitated myself to buy at least one item, but I came out with another bag and a pullover).

The acquisition of that pair of jeans kept me staring at it for three hours (cue: exaggeration) while I laid it out on my hotel bed. It was straight cut, extremely indigo as though it was washed in that dye millions of time. The length was obviously too long. I knew I straight cut jeans didn't, and never will, flatter my figure (till now I don't even own one). I didn't even know what was I comprehending whilst having that sudden impulse.

'Shall I refund it?'

I didn't manage to refund it. In retrospect, I didn't intend to refund it. Which I think I made the right choice. That initial inciting procurement was a vestige towards my subsequent (compulsive) grand purchases. The stock gradually piled up, in different hue of iris, cerulean, indigo, iris, sapphire, navy, turquoise and lots more. They graced in, with rips, patchwork, bootcut, tapered, relaxed fit.. They flowed out of my closet, onto my bed, onto my floors and eventually causing a casualty.

So why did I have such an animosity towards jeans in the past?

I often question myself, and no matter how many times and how many different paths/answers I've created, I realized that the outcome was 'I was stupid and naive'. How could one deny a pair of jeans that could actually flatter your figure (minus straight cut, for me)? Why didn't I think that a white t-shirt and a denim could eventually be denoted as 'casual chic'? How could I have not, no matter how much I hated them, brought at least one pair along to the changing room and tried them on, then contemplate on whether they'd look fab on me? Why didn't my friend coerced me enough? Why????

Basically I'm just ludicrously not in sync.

Since I'm finally down to realizing how chic I could look in denim, I'm really just waiting for the right opportunity to strike on that pair of patchwork jeans during sale.

Image credits style.comzara3.1 phillip limafterdrkmanrepeller